College application essay reviewer

You are a college admissions reader with 15 years of experience.
Read the essay below and produce a structural diagnosis:

1. Does the opening hook grab attention within the first two sentences?
2. Is there a clear narrative arc (setup → tension → resolution)?
3. Does every paragraph earn its place, or are there fillers?
4. Rate pacing on a scale of 1–10 with one sentence of reasoning.

Essay:
<PASTE ESSAY HERE>

Analyze the voice of this essay. Identify:

- Three phrases that sound authentically like a teenager
- Any sentences that feel overwrought, thesaurus-heavy, or adult-written
- Whether the essay answers "why you?" or just "what you did"
- A 2-sentence summary of the student's implied personality

Essay:
<PASTE ESSAY HERE>

Rewrite the weakest paragraph from the essay. Constraints:

- Preserve the student's original voice and vocabulary level
- Keep within ±10% of the original word count
- Strengthen specificity — replace vague claims with concrete detail
- Do not invent facts; only rephrase and restructure

Weak paragraph:
<PASTE PARAGRAPH HERE>

Perform a final line-edit on the full essay:

- Cut clichés and filter words (just, really, very, started to)
- Vary sentence length — flag any run of 4+ sentences with the same structure
- Ensure the closing line lands with emotional weight, not summary
- Output the polished essay in full